A Tip of the TOE

Abstract

Using standard methods from string theory, this paper presents a comprehensive survey about the most important aspects of the theory of sand. Special interest is put on the examination of the sand-wind duality and the interaction of ordinary (non-supersymmetric) sand with the heat field of the earth, as solution of the field inequalities of a stone. This will lead us, in a natural way, to completely new insights into the theory of sandstorms.

parody on poorly written papers in theoretical physics; 9 pages, 6 figures